Well...OLA!

Hi Bloggers! Sorry I've left you alone for a couple of days. Anyway im here to share my hoilday with you. Are you exicted? Ok i guess not ;D. I really cant be asked right now to put them on facebook so I'll show you a couple of picture hereMe and My Papas

Time To Go To The Beach! WooopHmm....It's not as easy as you thinkBoat Time!Mum PUT YOUR FINGERS DOWN! Your not a G :DAwww...NOT!Best Chicken Curry I Have Ever HadFat Shits? Yeah I KnowTime To Get Dangerous! This day was JOKES

So you ask me, why I'm like this? so you ask me, why don't I have a boyfriend? so you ask me, why do i have the same emotion everyday? Ha! You make me laugh! Behind a BITCH is a situation who made her that way, I made a bitch even more bitchy, HA! I know it ain't right but she needs to realise not to trust no one, not to cry over someone, not to be valuable and put your guard down to get hurt again. I really HATE it when girls write on their status about bring " heartbroken" when you should know it was coming. Ever since i remember life is a unfair I've changed. So if life is unfair, I'm gonna be unfair. I'm gonna make you WORK your hardest just to know me. I'm gonna make you WORK your hardest just to make me feel something for you.But you know what....no MAN has succeed cause no one can handle a real girl. You cant HANDLE a bitch that doesn't need you."If you really wanna know me first of all you should never try to get to personal Cause I meant it when I said:That you gotta long way to go"
Fuck what you heard. But a girl gets to a stage when their think your not worth anyone or you cant have anyone else but HIM. I wish i can tell you " It's gonna be alright, your gonna find someone better". But the truth is.......your never gonna feel anything else but rejection or your not even worth boys talking to you. So when i tell people i want to be alone...you don't understand me, but now you do. All this bullshit is worth nothing, all the late night phone calls is worth nothing, all the linkage means nothing when you have nothing to give back but a solid cold heart. Cause your hardly gonna change but i just hope you can handle it for a while cause it is hard work. Not allowing people to know what's hurting you cause you gotta keep a brave face for other people. I really didn't want you to be in this situation but i guess you've made up your mind up for your own sake cause when your lonely, hurt, feeling like life is not worth it your gonna need someone to cry on your gonna need someone to comfort you and you can't do that. You see even when you need someone the most! You'll have to bring out that middle finger and tell him "fuck you" but you know you don't mean it. Not even your close friend not even your family. You see to be "hard ass" is a reality not a weekly job or a feeling. ITS REALITY! Cause i know you I love him,always have and Always will and you gonna have to lie about being over him, your gonna have to put up walls to see if you'd Break em down but he ain't, and I'm WARNING NOW you know with every situation your gonna be in cause learn from my mistakes. It's hardly fun, It's hardly enjoyable but at the end of the day you know your gonna wake up feeling the same emotion as you did yesterday.I hope i haven't done something bad cause its not nice feeling like this everyday. Arg! I don't wanna focus this onto you, cause if i do it ain't gonna work. Don't ever say goodbye if you still want to try, don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry. Let it out all now cause in the long run your gonna loose alot of friendship your gonna loose a bond between your family, and i don't want you to feel the same way as me. It ain't about being a " BITCH" It ain't about being "the roughest girl on the block". That's just the start of it but when it's been happening for a while your gonna feel like shit everyday of your life. Time goes, Love goes but your heart is always gonna be there but it depends how you treat it.
Ok i guess your confused right now! right? Well you know in twilight when the girl want to be a vampire cause she wants to be like him but doesn't really know what shes getting herself in to well it's kind like this. You have no idea what your getting yourself in to. It's not a choice that happens over night its not your decision to just transform into a person cause the truth it your just gonna kill yourself before you even noticed. I'm advising you this right now : DO NOT turn solid cold heart. I ain't a nice feeling. Yeah people might look up to you and think " Wow, this girl is a real bitch" But it doesn't compare to what your gonna feel every single night you close your eyes. You've got a long life ahead of you and i know i sound like those people who just wants to put a smile on your face but this is really coming from my head not my heart but my head.Have you ever felt like your can't ever be good enough for the next guy. Because you gave everything you had,to the one who broke your heart. That's how your gonna feel for the rest of your life. So I'm begging you now! Be yourself but just put your guards up to people who need it.

Ok so i just watched the new twilight today and OMG!! I love this film! Im just praying their bring out another one!
I've finally found my new husband! JACOB! God made a beautiful man! Fuck edward, shes some prick man! JACOB IS THE ONE!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Im Better Off By Myself

Insist On YourSelf; Never Imitate.

- I Hate The Responsibilty
- I Hate The Apologies
I Come With A Package !

Im Better Off Alone

Cant Wait!

I'm Sorry but i REFUSE to wait for someone to take me to see twilight. Even doe I'm not in the bits and i hardly know where the pictures is I'M STILL GOING ON MY OWN!

I would find my own way!!! I think this Thursday! Wish me luck

FAK!!!

Argg! Never in my life would i ever think this would happen, maybe in the long run but not right now. It actually breaks my heart to say he doesn't want to be with you anymore. Imagine how you feel? how your gonna sleep tonight?. This is why i say" fuck love" or " love is bullshit". YOU NOW UNDERSTAND ME! I've never been in love and i ain't gonna cross that line for a VERY LONG TIME. Cause I've seen people crying and crying for months and maybe years. Its bullshit. His so selfish and i can honestly say that. Knowing all the shit you have to go through just to have him. Maybe that's the problem. The scariest thing is getting what you want. Because that's when you have the most to loose. Inside I know it hurts you ,but for everyone you gotta put on a smile. I guess that's what happens, try and play a big girl game so handle the big girl tears. I ... wonder, what went wrong. You were happy and everything... then one day... everything went wrong and there was nothing to do but give up, and try to move on. Maybe It's hurting you so bad because of expecting too much. You expect him to be different from the other boys, you expect him to listen and care for your feelings.Sometimes people have to break up so they can learn how to grow up. Now can you ask yourself this "was it worth it?, was it worth going through all the hated, struggle to be with that one person. That's the problem! Play a big girls games so you have to handle the big girls struggle. Fuck that young love shit! I fully don't believe in it. If it was really true then he would come back to you. Why is it that the one that you seem to love the most turns around and rips your heart right from the cords that were bound so tight around it?I just want one guy to prove that they are not all the same. I guess I'll be waiting a while. *exasperated sigh* ( I've learnt a new word today he he).Call it Karma, Fate or Destiny...either way all things both GOOD and BAD...happen for a REASON! Life is simple :" we push away the ones that love us, and the ones that we love push us away?"i guess you wasn't prepared to fall that hard for him, but you also wasn't prepared for the pain when he decided to walk away. I don't know if it was real love, i don't know if it was just a teenage love affair but i can say this " no pain last forever" regardless of everything at this point of life you might think everything around you is shit but understand people have it worst. You must go through this pain to find your true prince charming. But you gotta ask yourself "If we had a chance to be together, would you pick me forever?" think about that. If your doubting yourself at this moment then it wasn't meant to be. But i just don't get relationship and i don't think i will ever will until i find my husband. Whats the point of fighting and trapped in a case because you have to follow these rules to make sure your together. Its bullshit and that's why i hate relationship. Sometimes you just have to be selfish and worry about yourself. Your too loving and thinking about other people when really its time for a change. Its time to be free and not feel any feelings for anyone else. But there will come a point when you'll will forget to miss him and sometimes you just gotta let the rain fall down on you... I'm talking like this is any boy, but i got to because if i don't then I'll just be choosing sides.Its not like you didn't matter, you just didn't matter enough...and that's the truth.Cause sometimes a friend has to bring you down to pull you back up but i wonder if the heart is not a bone, why does it break? He used to say he'll kill anybody that hurt me, so why is he still alive! ( OK I'm forgetting I'm talking about a really close person to me)

Enough about this sad love songs. Your to fly for this shit and you really are. It's time to wake up from your fairy tale and realise there's no such thing as a prince charming. Instead of saying "single and heartbroken" i prefer if you say"free at last".I can't help feel for you that your all alone in this world cause you've lost someone but FUCK THAT SHIT! Boys come and go, Friends come and go but you just gotta stay true to yourself. Your gonna change a little bit but that's the process of creating YOU!



Never love anything too much. It will eventually disappoint you. <3

Ambition Beats Success

Why Me??

Success?? To What Extended Do I Have To Go To Be Successful?

I’m really tired but I can’t go to sleep! This topic has been going over and over my head for a while, and i don’t know why. Maybe because someone told me something that made me think that maybe i am alone in this world and the only thing that keeps me living is success. Time and time agos and I’m still wondering when you would ever think im worth your time or when would you ever think that you can at least listen to me and not just pretend your hearing me. Everyday trying my hardest in life to make you think im not useless, but it seems like i never win. Even this summer holidays! I try to do something good for myself that would better myself but you just couldn’t stand me going far. Sometimes i wonder why you do this to me and not your other children. I try and tell other people but their just don’t get it. But i don’t know why! Maybe cause thats not what you live for but FUCK IT i call this my birthplace, how can i just leave when this is all i know. Your properly thinking WHAT THE HECK IS SHE TALKING ABOUT? Whoever knows me knows my passion knows what im talking about. When im sad,happy,confused,angry i just make little dance moves in my head and it sets me off in another planet. Every time when im around you all i want to do is put the earphones in, block out the rest of the world. Can’t you see the problem with that?? That im actually focusing myself to talk to you that im focusing myself not to get angry at everything you haven’t done for me. Call me selfish right now BUT I BLOODY HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE! You took it too far and i will never forget this. NEVER!!! DID YOU HEAR ME! NEVER!! You may not understand what this means to me but i guess you would never know. I am so sick of everyone going back on words, being full of shit; I just want honesty, why do people end up being exactly what I thought to start with?I know you’ve been going through some ruff times with your dad, mum and young sister dying but i already told you im here! But as stubborn as you are you didn’t even notice i was there but carry on trying to put that brave face on. Who are you kidding?? I may be weird and different from you, i may go from not talking to being the happiest person you see. It's all to avoid the questions. Its funny how the mind can be a Sanctuary but it can also be a Prison. You people don't realise how much pain and stress your putting me through, doesn’t it cross your mind that i may be suffering and tired all the time.i guess it doesn't really matter how i feel about these things , i just hope your are happy now. believes if you have always been a "listener" you will ironically get to a stage where you can take no more. Is in need of some batteries because her brave face seems to be out of power :(

What do i have to do to make you happy? what do i have to do to make you believe in me? Your acting like i aint doing anything with my life, your acting like im so hood rat girl. Dont get me wrong i aint a prefect girl i do make mistake but im sure you would understand that. Just talk to me cause i miss you and people dont understand how im dying without you. But once again i have to deal with this by myself. I hope your happy now

I Need To See This Video!

I Really Want To See This Movie!!
And No One I Seem To Know Is Interested, I Don't Wanna Go To The Pictures By Myself Again!
Ok It Was Alright Once But I Need Some Company This Time!
I Would Of Gone With Christina But Shes In Bloody AMERICA! And I Cant Count On My Other Friends!
When I Come Back I Guess I Gotta Go By Myself ONCE AGAIN!
Minor! More Popcorn For Me

Fuck You!

Lifes A Bitch From The Start, Thats Why You Come Out Of Your Mothers Womb Crying

Give Up?

It's Madness-
To hate all rose, because you got scratched by one thorn.

To give up all your dreams; because one did not come true.

To lose all faith in prayer; because one wasn't answered.

To give up on your effects; because one of them failed.

To repeat "fuck friends"; because one of them betrayed you.

To not believe in love; because someone was unfaithful.

But none of us know that we must have rain so our flowers can grow.



Never give up! Even if it means I have

Tyra 1st Birthday

LOVE THIS GIRL!I WOULD DIE FOR HER!I TREAT HER LIKE SHES MY OWN DAUGHTER!

"I seen a baby cry then seconds later she laughed, the beauty of life-
The pain never lasts"- J.Cole