FAK!!!

Argg! Never in my life would i ever think this would happen, maybe in the long run but not right now. It actually breaks my heart to say he doesn't want to be with you anymore. Imagine how you feel? how your gonna sleep tonight?. This is why i say" fuck love" or " love is bullshit". YOU NOW UNDERSTAND ME! I've never been in love and i ain't gonna cross that line for a VERY LONG TIME. Cause I've seen people crying and crying for months and maybe years. Its bullshit. His so selfish and i can honestly say that. Knowing all the shit you have to go through just to have him. Maybe that's the problem. The scariest thing is getting what you want. Because that's when you have the most to loose. Inside I know it hurts you ,but for everyone you gotta put on a smile. I guess that's what happens, try and play a big girl game so handle the big girl tears. I ... wonder, what went wrong. You were happy and everything... then one day... everything went wrong and there was nothing to do but give up, and try to move on. Maybe It's hurting you so bad because of expecting too much. You expect him to be different from the other boys, you expect him to listen and care for your feelings.Sometimes people have to break up so they can learn how to grow up. Now can you ask yourself this "was it worth it?, was it worth going through all the hated, struggle to be with that one person. That's the problem! Play a big girls games so you have to handle the big girls struggle. Fuck that young love shit! I fully don't believe in it. If it was really true then he would come back to you. Why is it that the one that you seem to love the most turns around and rips your heart right from the cords that were bound so tight around it?I just want one guy to prove that they are not all the same. I guess I'll be waiting a while. *exasperated sigh* ( I've learnt a new word today he he).Call it Karma, Fate or Destiny...either way all things both GOOD and BAD...happen for a REASON! Life is simple :" we push away the ones that love us, and the ones that we love push us away?"i guess you wasn't prepared to fall that hard for him, but you also wasn't prepared for the pain when he decided to walk away. I don't know if it was real love, i don't know if it was just a teenage love affair but i can say this " no pain last forever" regardless of everything at this point of life you might think everything around you is shit but understand people have it worst. You must go through this pain to find your true prince charming. But you gotta ask yourself "If we had a chance to be together, would you pick me forever?" think about that. If your doubting yourself at this moment then it wasn't meant to be. But i just don't get relationship and i don't think i will ever will until i find my husband. Whats the point of fighting and trapped in a case because you have to follow these rules to make sure your together. Its bullshit and that's why i hate relationship. Sometimes you just have to be selfish and worry about yourself. Your too loving and thinking about other people when really its time for a change. Its time to be free and not feel any feelings for anyone else. But there will come a point when you'll will forget to miss him and sometimes you just gotta let the rain fall down on you... I'm talking like this is any boy, but i got to because if i don't then I'll just be choosing sides.Its not like you didn't matter, you just didn't matter enough...and that's the truth.Cause sometimes a friend has to bring you down to pull you back up but i wonder if the heart is not a bone, why does it break? He used to say he'll kill anybody that hurt me, so why is he still alive! ( OK I'm forgetting I'm talking about a really close person to me)

Enough about this sad love songs. Your to fly for this shit and you really are. It's time to wake up from your fairy tale and realise there's no such thing as a prince charming. Instead of saying "single and heartbroken" i prefer if you say"free at last".I can't help feel for you that your all alone in this world cause you've lost someone but FUCK THAT SHIT! Boys come and go, Friends come and go but you just gotta stay true to yourself. Your gonna change a little bit but that's the process of creating YOU!



Never love anything too much. It will eventually disappoint you. <3