My Mind!

Well I'm back again, i didn't go for long. Anyway I'm here just bored and thought that i should blog while i get a idea to get me off this situation . Your properly thinking- what situation??, well you don't really have to know that part of the story. As this is blogging I'm just gonna express myself not caring what anyone thinks or say about me. I thought that i can't express myself at home or in school as I'm the "rock" in the relationship so i took out the time to just sit down and write whatever is on my mind (Straight forward). Just think of this as my little daily that no one has to know about ( even doe its posted to everyone). Well where should i start?? How about........... Why do i like him?? Like seriously i try everyday to get him out of my mind but it seems every little thing remind me of him. Arg!! It's starting to get really annoying but cute at the same time. I seriously don't know what to do and what to say. I really need some help. But don't worry Sally would fix it as she fixes everything that happens around her even doe its not her problem. You see everyone looks at me and expects me not to have problems or feelings. So i have to keep to that image because i don't want to look like a "weak" girl. My mum always says i shouldnt cry in front of people as it's a sign of weakness. Sometime i do believe her because i watch some people cry and realise how stupid they look. But sometime you can't hold it in and just feel like picking up a gun and shooting yourself ( but don't worry I ain't that crazy to do such a thing). You see i have never ever ever ever seen my mum cry, she forbid me to cry in front of her. I don't know why but it has affected me in the future. I hardly cry anymore even if one of my family have died or I've been told something horrible. I don't know what's wrong with me even when i try to push out tears it just don't come. People might think that it's a good thing but it really ain't. Having nothing to show of what your thinking is not the right way. Everyday trying to put one of the biggest smile on my face to keep everyone happy. All i know is that when i have a child i would allow them to cry all the time around me and comfort them till they die.
ANYWAY!!!
Let's not go down that road ( don't worry i ain't gonna cry LOLL)
What else is on my mind?? Hm......
Ooh yeah I've been listening to alot of slow songs today and have made me a bit sad :( (don't worry i ain't gonna cry)
But i would leave that for another day. CYA Bloggers!!